Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Abou ben Adhem (may his tribe increase)....

I always liked that poem.

I was a member of the Southern Baptist Church for 12 years. I was 20 when I was baptized. I was a member of the Church of Christ for 27 years. I became a member of the c of c thru a Bible study.

I began having doubts in the late 90's. I'd been struggling with the oppressive legalism since being baptized into the c of c.
It came to a head in 2005. I was an Elder at the time & my teaching on grace became too much for the other Elders I was serving with. I was asked to resign & it was made clear If I didn't I would be removed.

That event opened the door for me to leave the c of c. That lead me to more than a decade of intense study & research of the creation & evolution of both the Christian Faith & the Bible. During that period I tried liberal forms of Xanity & then Deism. That period lasted about 10 years before I accepted the reality I no longer believed any of it.

When I finally let go of my "faith" it was like a giant weight being lifted off of me. I haven't looked back & I have no regrets.

I am glad you found what works for you. My husband left the COC with me, about 33 years ago. He is agnostic sometimes, atheist sometimes, a humanist usually, and he likes non-theist Buddhism.

Dr. James Fowler's book Stages of Faith lays out the stages that many people will experience at some time in their lives.

Something initiates doubt. Eventually that doubt becomes more and more problematic. When doubt reaches a critical stage it must be dealt with. Dealing with that doubt often involves exploring established beliefs in an attempt to validate them. If those established beliefs cannot be validate the cognitive dissonance must be dealt with. The solution often involves simply making a change in religious beliefs and/or affiliation. The other option is to walk away from the issues that are creating the cognitive dissonance and remove them from your life.

I followed those stages pretty much as laid out by Dr. Fowler. I ultimately left religion all together. That process took more than decade to complete but I'm convinced I ultimately made the right decision. I do not miss any aspect of religion. Leaving religion was the most freeing and exhilarating feeling I had experienced in years.

I became deeply involved in a critical historical study of Christianity that is ongoing and has lasted for more than a decade now. I think it is important to know why a person leaves their religion and to obtain facts that validate that decision.

i can tell you with 100% honesty the lack of judgment by people is great...
I definitely see the lack of love when in the cofc when all they do is judge righteously and zealously

Cootie Brown wrote:Dr. James Fowler's book Stages of Faith lays out the stages that many people will experience at some time in their lives.

I also found that book helpful. It was recommended to me shortly after I left the NICOC.

Atheism means determining right and wrong take a lot more effort - but you're free to not decide which is nice. Embracing your own personal ignorance is liberating although it can be frustrating. Instead of having ignorant illogical answers for all the great questions in life, you're mostly left with no answers at all and very little prospect of finding those answers. I guess that's why a lot of atheists become nihilists.

Leaving religion was what I imagine it might feel like being released from prison after 47 years. It was like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was in chains and now I'm free.

When I was a Christian I felt like Jesus was sitting on my shoulder 24/7 taking notes & all the stuff I did or thought was being recorded & would be brought up again at the final judgement. As a Xian I never saw a path to heaven for me. And honestly the description of heaven in the Bible didn't sound that great.

Xianity for me was basically about fear & intimidation. Glad to be out of that nonsense & I have no regrets that I walked away from it.

In the words of Richard Feynman, "I would rather have questions that cannot be answered than answers that cannot be questioned."

A major reason for my journey in losing faith had to do with asking questions. For example why does Matthew seem to refer to fulfillment of prophecies that the OT never seems to reference at all? Why are the gospel genealogies so different and how can they both be right? How can the events around Jesus birth be so different when comparing Matthew and Luke? And how in the world can mutually exclusive facts both be correct? Saying that both are right and inspired defies logic.

But every time I pushed with questions like these, I was given either explanations that didn't make sense, or that ignored relevant information, or that were totally irrational. In addition, I was typically chided for my lack of faith; never encouraged for my honest inquiry or seeking of the truth.

Religion in my opinion provides a lot of easy, but ultimately wrong, answers to some really tough questions. A lot of these answers are comforting all the way up until you reach the point where you realize they are probably wrong.

At that point, some of those unquestionable answers may be replaced with unanswerable questions like "why am I here?"

This can be very discomforting. But the former answer no longer holds any appeal either, because it appears to be built on a house of cards. Paradoxically, it can also be very liberating to be free from such a regressive and dysfunctional way of thinking.