Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

As I embark on the journey away from the coc (elders are about to announce it Sunday), I was thinking about all the things I have heard so far and/or expect to hear from members hearing about my leaving. Here's a few. Feel free to add your own!

• Prodigal son reference
• Question about which doctrinal error is being committed - need to know for the sake of their soul
• I want to study with you
• "A fool in his heart says there is no God" (atheist edition)
• I'm going to have to think about how much time I can spend with you.
• I'll pray for you

I got a variation of this in a note from a childhood "friend", describing how she saw me:

◄ Jude 1:13 ►

New International Version

They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

Lovely.

They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

Describes you to a "t", ivyrose.

Seriously, ask your Ismaili daughter in law to show you in Allah's word Surah 31:18-19 and what it says about the braying of the ass. Anyone who would pompously and arrogantly apply Jude to you and be serious is just braying like an ass.

B.H. wrote:

They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

Describes you to a "t", ivyrose.

Seriously, ask your Ismaili daughter in law to show you in Allah's word Surah 31:18-19 and what it says about the braying of the ass. Anyone who would pompously and arrogantly apply Jude to you and be serious is just braying like an ass.

Aww, BH....thank you for the support. I can agree with part of that verse..."wild" and "star".

The worst part of that note was that in it she said a close relative of mine had told her I had "left god" (and apparently said relative had put her up to writing me). That was in no way true, then or now....just cofc arrogance in thinking cofc=god. It really pissed me off at the time. I thought of all kinds of things to write back, but in the end I never responded.....which was for the best.

OK as for your verse, I had to look it up for myself:

"And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster. And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass."

Love it!!

Ivy wrote:I got a variation of this in a note from a childhood "friend", describing how she saw me:

◄ Jude 1:13 ►

New International Version

They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

Lovely.

Nice. And I guess they missed the verse before that where it talks about the subject of that verse still meeting with the assembly, eating with them at their love feasts.

Wouldn't expect anything less from a coc'er. For all the talk about context, they pull things out of context ALL.THE.TIME.

Btw, my initial list is just the stuff said to me so far... the announcement isn't being made until tonight. I expect many more things to add. I'll update as I get them. So far, of the 3 women I've told, the one I was closest to has made it clear that she won't be my friend anymore (and her husband made a comment that this was changing the relationship between our families), another one was very sweet and asked ME not to shut HER out. And a third... prodigal son reference. She was friendly, but I don't really know how she'll act around me in the future (we'll be seeing each other at a non-church group for our kids).

I can guarantee that if the roles were reversed for me and my close friend above, and she were the one leaving, my husband and I would have stuck with her, regardless of what the elders said. That's what friends do, unless the friend is doing something really awful like killing people or has become a pedophile... you know, someone you wouldn't be friends with regardless of religion.

Shrubbery wrote: Btw, my initial list is just the stuff said to me so far... the announcement isn't being made until tonight. I expect many more things to add. I'll update as I get them.

Can't wait!! BTW.....I think looking at it with humor, as you are doing, will be very therapeutic. We love discussing fallout fodder reported by exers who have completed their exit!!

Shrubbery wrote: So far, of the 3 women I've told, the one I was closest to has made it clear that she won't be my friend anymore (and her husband made a comment that this was changing the relationship between our families),

Classy; has that cultish ring to it. Shrub, doesn't it just make you feel ashamed and want to go back to restore that solid relationship?

It's the fundamentalists mindset & it is commonly found in many religions. A fundamentalists mindset requires intense indoctrination that often evolves into actual brainwashing. It is virtually impossible to reason with a fundamentalist. And it is extremely difficult for a fundamentalists to overcome their indoctrination because they view it as an asset not a liability. They link fundamentalism with spirituality. I think fundamentalism is the product of fear. Fundamentalist fear God more than they (love) God. The fear of hell seems to be their primary motivation.

I have found it best to avoid fundamentalists as much as possible.

Cootie Brown wrote:It's the fundamentalists mindset & it is commonly found in many religions. A fundamentalists mindset requires intense indoctrination that often evolves into actual brainwashing. It is virtually impossible to reason with a fundamentalist. And it is extremely difficult for a fundamentalists to overcome their indoctrination because they view it as an asset not a liability. They link fundamentalism with spirituality. I think fundamentalism is the product of fear. Fundamentalist fear God more than they (love) God. The fear of hell seems to be their primary motivation.

I have found it best to avoid fundamentalists as much as possible.

I don't think you can really become true friends with someone with that rigid mindset. It's all based on your buying the bill of goods; not based on anything genuine. If one goes their separate way, there is no foundation left. The exception to that would be if the remaining member of the friendship pair has a very strong relationship / respect for the exiting friend AND is beginning to experience cognitive dissonance.

• Muscle and a Shovel reference

If you're not familiar with that book, here's a good review from a progressive coc elder who goes into great detail about the book:

h**p://oneinjesus.info/muscle-shovel-review/

Nice. And I guess they missed the verse before that where it talks about the subject of that verse still meeting with the assembly, eating with them at their love feasts.

In my opinion that verse talks about a lot of church of christ elders and deacons though.