Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Hi everyone! I'm Hannah and I'm from the Tulsa, OK area. I grew up in the church and am a PK although my parents are divorced and have been since I was an infant. I guess I have it easier than most PKs because of that. I've been a sort of rebel in the church since I was around 17 (I'm 21 now) and even got a stern talking to from an elder because of my nose piercing! I've kind of been in the process of leaving ever since then but I'm moving in with my boyfriend of three years next week and after the way my father, a preacher, has treated me, I know I can't go back. He talks badly about my mom, told me that my boyfriend treats me like an object, that my boyfriend doesn't really love me or he wouldn't have sex with me (God forbid I like sex too), and makes assumptions about how my dead relatives would feel about this (which is hilarious because they really disliked him). Talking to him on the phone is like getting preached at. I guess I should be thankful he's in Texas. Sorry if this has been a bit disjointed and hard to read, I'm just upset. Hearing your father say that he'd rather you be unhappy but doing what the church wants is difficult and I'm having a hard time gathering my thoughts.

Welcome to the neighborhood. Your story doesn't sound disjointed at all. Maybe it's your father's attitude that is disjointed.
Make yourself at home!

Welcome. Hopefully you will eventually be able to find some good in your father even if his thinking, behavior, and approach are way out of bounds. At some point it will be clear if a relationship of some type is even still possible and/or desirable on his part. Things are hot and heavy right now...hopefully the emotions will temper soon and some good will remain as possible. But maybe not.

There is a unique mindset that members of any strong, legalistic, religious fundamentalists group possess. It is exhibited as a we verses the world way of thinking. The Church of Christ & groups like that often reflect cult like traits & behavior that comes from their unique beliefs & way of interpreting scripture.

Their midset isn't going to change so that doesn't leave you many options. Ignoring them & have as little contact with them as possible is about your only alternative. I realize when this kind of situation develops it hurts everyone & they use that to manipulate you into repenting & returning to the fold.

Congratulations on leaving! Welcome aboard.

Welcome!

Welcome! I hope you find great support here.

Sorry your dad is being a jerk. I hope that things get easier for you, and that this forum can help.