Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I'm from Texas too.

nate774 wrote:Thank you everyone =)

Ivy.... I consider myself young-- I'm 40, but I think my dad thinks I'm 12. I get the impression that is common though, and I can't really tell him, "I have no interest in going to church.. it's depressing... don't ask me to go again."--- I don't know what that would do to him.

Honey - trust me, he already knows that. And he's stronger than you think. You are forty years old. You are allowed to tell your father that you have opinions.

nate774 wrote:Thank you everyone =)

Ivy.... I consider myself young-- I'm 40, but I think my dad thinks I'm 12. I get the impression that is common though, and I can't really tell him, "I have no interest in going to church.. it's depressing... don't ask me to go again."--- I don't know what that would do to him.

My guess is that it would bring up the reflexive reaction of most programmed CofC parents: that their child is an "unbeliever" and they have failed....your father probably would have to relinquish any leadership role (I believe based on the CofC's take on the scriptures in I Timothy) for not "ruling his household".....but you know, that is such an overreach of scripture....you are grown-up and your spiritual life should not in reality impact your Dad's life like that anyway but I can see perhaps how it might be a part of your worry with respect to him....but unfortunately perhaps he (and his CofC leadership) sees you as part of his household still, hence maybe contributing to your feeling that you are 12 years old in your relationship with him.....I hope that someday there is a way for you to be able to distinguish your spirituality from your Dad's, yet gain his respect for your own beliefs and your individuality.....it might be rough at first, but it might also open his heart and mind eventually as well.....but in the first instance, I hope you can somehow formulate what distinguishing beliefs you have with him before you enter a discussion with him (a discussion which obviously will call on your life-facing courage)....and you perhaps sound like you are still in a developing stage on your beliefs, is that a fair assessment Nate??

agricola wrote:

nate774 wrote:Thank you everyone =)

Ivy.... I consider myself young-- I'm 40, but I think my dad thinks I'm 12. I get the impression that is common though, and I can't really tell him, "I have no interest in going to church.. it's depressing... don't ask me to go again."--- I don't know what that would do to him.

Honey - trust me, he already knows that. And he's stronger than you think. You are forty years old. You are allowed to tell your father that you have opinions.

This is emotional manipulation. They (hard core cofc parents) want you to think they are so fragile that they will melt down if you reject their religion. In truth, most of them are about as fragile as military tanks....it's just a convenient technique used to keep the offspring in the fold.