Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

I'm probably like many here - raised in the COC, raised my kids in the COC.

I've been suffering from depression and major faith struggles for the past few years.

Pretty much everything came to a head in the last couple of years. There's so many things to mention.

• Friends of color being made to feel unwelcome at church
• Church leaders always pushing back against really delving into race as an issue in the church
• Christian nationalist dogma and right-wing politics being mixed into the new testament
• Intolerance for people of other religions

We have had to cut off contact with some family and some church family because of brow-beating over political stances. I won't have those things said to my wife.

I could go on with more, but mostly I'm really weary of being told how much God has blessed me regardless of how much crap hits me and my family.

Anyway, the pandemic has made it easy to slip away unnoticed. That's ok. The church has not been a place of comfort for me for the past 5 years or more. I'm tired of putting on the everything's ok mask.

Welcome. It’s been many years since I left the COC, but I lost a lot of people also. Back in those days, most COCs stayed out of politics. That was good, but still, the church was never a positive place.

Sounds like you could use a vacation from church - a long, long one, from that particular one!

I hope this site offers some information and useful distractions for you - do feel free to browse around, and if you find a discussion that interests you which happens to be old, don't hesitate to add a little comment and resurrect it -

Welcome to the ex-board.

Welcome! All three of my children were raised in the CofC, and they all left. My husband and I have found happiness in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). My kids attend nowhere.

Welcome!!

Many of us have experienced that "cutting off" upon leaving the cofc. But in most cases it's well worth it in the long run.

slippedaway wrote: ↑Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:59 pm The church has not been a place of comfort for me for the past 5 years or more. I'm tired of putting on the everything's ok mask.

I remember people asking each other "how have you been" or "how's your sister (or brother)", etc. What I realized over time is that the topic of discussion was really primarily about health. A response might be, "well I had a cold for a few days, but I'm felling better" or "well, my sister still is having difficulty getting around", etc. Any discussion of difficulty beyond that, whether spiritually related or not, was a red flag of your lack of faith. The "putting on the everything is ok mask" gave you a pass on any such accusation against you.

After all, everyone in the CofC was always attaining sinlessness, then falling back a little, then regaining sinlessness again by going to church and partaking of communion to let the blood of Christ flow back over them again and take out all those newly accummulated sins (like when they were originally baptized). What therefore would be the reason for anyone not to wear an "everything's ok mask" in the CofC? If you didn't do that, especially in church, something was very wrong with you. In other words, "we don't have sad or troubled people here, we're THE CHURCH".

I believe that situation also, to a great extent, comes from American culture where everyone is on their own and expected to take care of themselves only, and it then becomes a weakness or a sign of shame to ask for or admit you need help in any way. The Church of the Self-Sufficient should never really need the help of others or God Himself. After all, they've got the scriptures, you know.

SolaDude wrote: ↑Sun Sep 05, 2021 2:57 pm I believe that situation also, to a great extent, comes from American culture where everyone is on their own and expected to take care of themselves only, and it then becomes a weakness or a sign of shame to ask for or admit you need help in any way. The Church of the Self-Sufficient should never really need the help of others or God Himself. After all, they've got the scriptures, you know.

Yee Haw!!!

Ivy wrote: ↑Mon Sep 06, 2021 10:52 am

SolaDude wrote: ↑Sun Sep 05, 2021 2:57 pm I believe that situation also, to a great extent, comes from American culture where everyone is on their own and expected to take care of themselves only, and it then becomes a weakness or a sign of shame to ask for or admit you need help in any way. The Church of the Self-Sufficient should never really need the help of others or God Himself. After all, they've got the scriptures, you know.

Yee Haw!!!

Bring 'em in, dead or alive! And don't miss church.

SolaDude wrote: ↑Sun Sep 05, 2021 2:57 pm The Church of the Self-Sufficient

I'd like to make up a bunch of large vinyl decals with "The Church of the Self-Sufficient" to paste over CoC signs! (Or is that "The church of the Self-Sufficient" -- with a "little c")