My sister and I were raised coc- she's now getting a divorce and we've both been in the process of distancing/ leaving

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0405frogs
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2021 11:13 am

My sister and I were raised coc- she's now getting a divorce and we've both been in the process of distancing/ leaving

Post by 0405frogs »

Hi, both my sister and I (21, 24) were raised in the church of christ. We've had a lot of struggles growing up with a mother who was a victim of abuse, but also through the church, her codependency, and lack of healing, was a narcissist who was emotionally abusive and isolating.

The church we were initially raised in was much like what's described on your website, and was isolating, controlling, and even hid a pedophilia scandal. Very fundamentalist and evangelical.

The church and our mother controlled, isolated, and destroyed healthy boundaries, essentially turning us into "The giving tree" where we don't stop trying, don't give up, keep self sacrificing and giving to the point it destroys us.

We are both in the process of therapy, and my sister is in the process of leaving an abusive, neglectful marriage and the church.
SolaDude
Posts: 2672
Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:10 pm

Re: My sister and I were raised coc- she's now getting a divorce and we've both been in the process of distancing/ leavi

Post by SolaDude »

Very sorry for your and your sister's experiences, but glad that you've sought therapy so that you can go forward with your young lives.
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Moogy
Posts: 1207
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:20 pm
Location: on the ranch near Eldorado, Texas

Re: My sister and I were raised coc- she's now getting a divorce and we've both been in the process of distancing/ leavi

Post by Moogy »

Welcome to our group of survivors! You are getting out earlier in life than many of us. Therapy should help and feel free to share experiences here. Many of us went through shunning by friends and families, confusion about what we believe and why, and difficulties re-arranging our thought patterns. We are here to offer support.
Moogy
NI COC for over 30 years, but out for over 40 years now
Mostly Methodist for about 30 years.
Left the UMC in 2019 based on their decision to condemn LGBT+ persons and to discipline Pastors who perform same-sex marriages
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