Trying to find courage

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chronicallycrafty
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:48 pm

Trying to find courage

Post by chronicallycrafty »

Hello, all. I'm just saying, "Hello." I'm in the South and am working up the courage to leave the CofC. I have barely attended for awhile now, but I blame it on my chronic illness. Need to just come right out and state that I'm not going back.

Hard part is that my spouse and child are baptized members of that congregation, and I'm very close to one particular couple. Still, I feel I'm being damaged by staying there. They're heavily pro-Florida College, and I just can't identify with most of what they espouse.

Wandering in the wilderness for some time now. Honestly don't know what I believe anymore, but I know I need a chance to listen for the still, small voice of God. And I need to do it on my own.

That's enough rambling. Thanks in advance for listening.
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agricola
Posts: 4779
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 10:31 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by agricola »

We are here. Welcome to the ex board.
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
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Ivy
Posts: 6385
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 11:05 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by Ivy »

Welcome!! So glad you're here.
~Stone Cold Ivyrose Austin~
GMan
Posts: 294
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2015 10:20 am
Location: Denver Colorado

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by GMan »

You are in the right place. Welcome.
A life lived in fear,
is a life half lived.

Glen McGuire
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KLP
Posts: 2757
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:47 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by KLP »

Welcome and yes, the road ahead can be hard. Just because you go there does not mean you accept everything they say, nor should you pretend or openly claim that you do. Hopefully there are one or two people there who also are willing to look and think about things and be honest about what is man-made CofC culture stuff and what is not. You already know the commitment you have to family, marriage, faith of children and finding a balance might be hard. Maybe just venting and thinking will be enough to get you by for awhile. In any case, welcome. Do everything you can to discourage your child from going to FC or any other private, expensive, Bible college...not a great plan.
Isn't the world wonderful...I am all for rational optimism and I am staying positive.
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Ashes
Posts: 125
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2015 9:26 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by Ashes »

Ex-CoC Southerners unite!
Real blessings come from people.
B.H.
Posts: 4408
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:26 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by B.H. »

Always remember the church water fountain and church public restrooms are the downfall of the non-institutional church.
The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.----Karl Marx
Aarin
Posts: 25
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:20 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by Aarin »

Welcome to the community; we accept you as you are.

Although you may feel alone and lost in the wilderness, you are not alone.

I survived a year at FC (second generation), went from '08-'09. Most, if not all, of my family is practicing moderate CoC. I left the church four years ago. Despite harsh criticism and excommunication from most of my family, I am proud of who I am and happy.

If you feel the need to vent, have questions, or concerns, I and others hear are more than willing to lend an ear and shoulder of support.
" Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change."
chronicallycrafty
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:48 pm

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by chronicallycrafty »

Thank you all.

Today is the day I quit "going to church." My husband and I had a big blowup the other day, and I finally admitted that I don't want to attend CofC worship services any more. I feel a little sad but not at all guilty. Mostly, I feel a sense of relief that I'm finally being honest with myself and everyone else.

I still have to talk to my child about why I don't attend CofC services anymore. Still, like most kids, she expects honesty and reacts well to it.

My husband also asked me to talk to the elders. I intend to write a letter. That may seem a little cowardly, but I just don't want to go back there again. I expect that somebody will show up on my doorstep (unannounced to me of course), but I'll meet that when it comes.

For now, I'm glad to be here with all of you.
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bnot
Posts: 229
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 3:22 am
Location: Southern California

Re: Trying to find courage

Post by bnot »

We're here for you! I do not consider writing a letter cowardly. In fact, it's probably the best method of communication in this situation because a meeting with the elders would just mean they would gang up on you. Making a stand and leaving the Coc takes courage, and you definitely have that. I think you're handling the situation fine, and plus you're already anticipating an unannounced visit which most likely will happen. I'm glad you feel relief from being honest with yourself, because the CoC has never been honest with itself, claiming it started AD 33 when it was started in the 1800's in the good ol' USA.
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