Bad Sermons & Worse Logic

[Pitts S2C]

All those countless number of sermons on abortion. Each time, I would look around the room at Church and think are women having abortions that I am unaware of? If not, why do we continue to pound that topic into the ground while speaking to the choir?

[B.H.]

....made the comment that however he still thinks it is legitimate and valid to preach about Jesus death and resurrection.

The preacher needs to preach that Jesus also pooped and pissed while on earth. However, knowing everything except when his second coming would be, he always wiped himself in such a way he never got excrement on his hand....no..not once! He knew how to wipe and just where.

[Ashes]

....made the comment that however he still thinks it is legitimate and valid to preach about Jesus death and resurrection.

The preacher needs to preach that Jesus also pooped and pissed while on earth. However, knowing everything except when his second coming would be, he always wiped himself in such a way he never got excrement on his hand....no..not once! He knew how to wipe and just where.

[GuitarHero]

This Easter Sunday we were visiting other friends church and they had a young man with almost 1 year of preacher school instruction under his belt. He made the comments about how the denominations are all talking about Jesus and Easter but he knows we have seen the movies and know all about its so no need to go over all that. He instead was going to talk about the importance of attending every service. And then he paused and made the comment that however he still thinks it is legitimate and valid to preach about Jesus death and resurrection. Whew...glad to know that. Now let's get back to that urgent burning topic of attendance.

Well, of course, you HAVE to preach about attendance on Easter. Because that's the day when all the people who DON'T attend regularly show up, and what better time to harangue, guilt and shame them than on the ONE DAY that they actually decide to attend? Any COC preacher worth his salt knows that! Never mind taking the opportunity to deliver an inspirational message that may positively influence them. Let's make sure they actively avoid us as a place of shame and guilt forevermore!

[B.H.]

The probably has the opposite effect. It makes people remember why they never go to church!

[Turtle]

Recently I heard a preacher say the only reason he didn't commit adultery was his intimate relationship with.....Jesus.

I was like, okay, I wonder how your wife feels about that.