Did you ever wonder what others in the cOC did for fun?

[OneStrike_ur_out]

During both of my stints in the cOC, I used to look around and wonder what the other members did for fun. I myself made sure that there was more to my life than church. But for others, it seemed like their lives began and ended at church. EVERYTHING they did revolved around it. If they weren't at the building for services, they were there cleaning it, doing the outdoor work, prepping the Lord's supper, etc. Then, whenever there was a gospel meeting, they would jump up and down like they were going on a trip to Hawaii. Not long ago, one of the kids in one of the families whose lives revolved around church gave me a call. They were (and still are) members in the second cOC that I was a part of. The kid who called me is in high school now. He asked if I remembered him, and I said yes and then he asks if I could talk for a bit, to which I replied "of course". He told me that he is about to go out of his mind. He plays sports and really loves it, but his parents will only let him be involved in sports IF church remains priority number one. He said that he told them that he really had to have something in his life that wasn't related to church. Naturally, they looked at him like he had three heads. He is one of four kids, and he said that it is causing problems for them as well. His siblings also want something, shoot ANYTHING, outside of church. He said that his parents are concerned that any involvement in outside activities could cause them to get "pulled away". I told him to hang in there, because in less than two years, he will be 18 and can leave the cOC altogether. I often wonder about those who do nothing outside of church. What if this life is ALL we get. Once we are dead, we are out forever plus a thousand. That is why I always made sure that I had other things going on in my life. And the same thing goes for work, or anything else. I refuse to let one thing and one thing only dominate my existence.

[Struggler]

I felt sorry for anyone whose entire life revolved around church and church people. It's unhealthy in several ways.

During high school, we weren't allowed to do anything that would cause us to miss a service. Being the minister's family, we were expected to show up for everything, not to mention early and make a big production of how we liked it. The gospel meeting thing is right on the money. People got SO excited and most of the ones who came were our own folks or from other C of C's.

I hated that and feel sorry for kids now who are in the same boat.

[agricola]

This is a side effect, I think, from the confusion most coc people have about God and the church. You can see the same thing when coc people say that someone who left the coc 'left God'.

Listen folks: The church is not God.

But if you are to 'put God at the center of your life' and 'forsake not' etc, AND you think the church and God are one and the same, then OF COURSE you don't let your kids join anything or do anything that will come between them and faithful attendance three times a week. I mean, REALLY.

And yes, I never joined anything but groups that met during school hours - things like Latin Club. Because I knew, without even asking, that I wouldn't be allowed to do anything which might interfere with Wednesday night, nor anything that was potentially going to 'draw me away' (definition: anything that looked like fun) especially if it involved other kids who didn't go to church with us. Group of young people made up of coc kids: possibly okay. Group of young people not made up of coc kids: almost certainly wrong, no matter what they were doing.

[KLP]

PK here and I was in band, little league, and football, so were siblings. Many of the preachers are pretty entertaining in of hours, I heard a lot of jokes and stories. And they played golf...and I could tag along in the summers. We travelled a good bit each summer as well and went camping. Plus, for faithful and honest Christians, since Xmas and Easter are non-events and do not exist you even have more time for camping. We lived not too far from the junk yard and city dump and you could usually find something with wheels on it...make a go-cart or something that moved. Also, that was back in the days when kids could go squirrel or rabbit hunting and the world not freak out over a gun. I would say music, exploring, and building fires were some of the most enjoyable activities. But yes, being a PK we were in church a lot and still had a lot of time for other stuff.

I wonder if the whole culture change about having everything organized is what squelches things just as much. Kids used to just get a football game or baseball game going in the street or a field or an empty lot (where the grass is more likely to be cut). We didn't have "play dates" or mom taxi's driving us around or to friends houses. Everything is just so controlled and scheduled and safe now...I understand some of the motives. But I am saying when things were more free and unplanned, then maybe 3x church was not so bad or overwhelming. Now we consider everything being so controlled and scheduled and locked down to be "the norm" and are looking at 3x church as being the problem. Maybe? I mean imagine kids today being allowed to go off exploring and looking for stuff in a junk yard or shooting cans or junk in the dump? Everything is working to keep kids so safe it is insane at times...IMO.

[Cootie Brown]

How could anyone have fun when it was taught and believed that Jesus was recording everything a person says, thinks, and does 24/7 365 days a year? And if that wasn't enough there was that final judgement thing too. God was going to revisit all your sins again before making a decision on your final destiny. Being in the c of c or any similar group is like being a prisoner. You are watched and recorded 24/7 forever by all powerful supernatural beings and invisible forces.

I'm sure some people figured out their chance of making it to heaven was slim at best, so why try? And the belief that Jesus is a voyeur watching you 24/7 including in your bedroom is creepy.

[Moogy]

We did lots of kid stuff like KLP. Bicycles, baseball in the nearby vacant lot, playing with neighbors (parents did not limit us to other COC kids). Once my older brother had a drivers license, we could go longer distances. In high school, my small group of friends did not include any COC kids. We were NICOC, so naturally there was no youth group at church.
In college and after I married, we did lots of fun stuff, often inviting other COC friends or work friends to come along. We did camping, backpacking, canoeing, running at the track, etc.
We did make sure to find a "sound church" if we were gone on Sunday. We allowed ourselves to go only once on Sunday and not at all on Wednesday night while traveling. I had more fun then than I have now, mostly because of my physical limitations due to aging.

[flawed]

I remember a girl from my childhood church that gave up her full ride basketball scholarship in college after she had been converted by her boyfriend because she would miss Wednesday nights services. Even then I remember thinking how crazy that seemed. Our school was run by a bunch of fundies so any extra-curricular activities were forbidden on Wednesday's and most definitely on Sunday's.

[FinallyFree]

How could anyone have fun when it was taught and believed that Jesus was recording everything a person says, thinks, and does 24/7 365 days a year? And if that wasn't enough there was that final judgement thing too. God was going to revisit all your sins again before making a decision on your final destiny. Being in the c of c or any similar group is like being a prisoner. You are watched and recorded 24/7 forever by all powerful supernatural beings and invisible forces.

I'm sure some people figured out their chance of making it to heaven was slim at best, so why try? And the belief that Jesus is a voyeur watching you 24/7 including in your bedroom is creepy.

I have often thought how it is a ridiculous thought to think that everyone who ever lived would have their entire life reviewed and every sin they ever committed be exposed on judgment day.

[KLP]

We could never do Scouts because they met on Wed and had weekend trips where Sunday church would be missed. Interfering with church was the main reason, but I think the cost would have been a burden so I think my folks were just as glad. Also school basketball was frowned up due to the potential Wed night games and of course the shorts being too short back in those days...had to be segregated by gender back in those days.

Did everything I could to be top dog no matter if it was school, neighborhood, or church. Some think I am competitive, some see that as a flaw. go figure...guess what I think? lol Anyway, there was still enough with just living in the parsonage and not doing xmas and easter to still feel like an odd duck. But I was able to be a top performer in most things such as math/science and music and fair in some sports...on top of being tall male and smart mouth class clown...any sort of stage fright was never an issue for me. Performing well in school and life was expected...just like it was expected to perform well at church.

So like the Petros blog post, a very compartmentalized life (most times) where school/neighborhood activities were very different from church/family life...and I was sort of both top performer and class clown. I think being sharp and seeing the humor, absurdity, and silliness in what is going on or what is being said just comes natural...some people can't do that so they are uncomfortable when I comment on it. So there is a class clown, but part of humor is also being edgy or getting close to danger zones. I usually am having fun and when I am not I can still usually laugh about it. And really it seems that having fun is what irks a lot of people in the world.

[Cootie Brown]

My wife & I were very active in our youth group because our son & daughter were in that group. We worked closely with the youth minister & his wife. This was back in the early 80's.The youth minister & his wife were newlyweds & fresh out of college. The youth group was large & we were involved in all their activities both locally & when the group traveled.

I am only aware of one kid that is still active in the c of c. He is a deacon & bible school teacher & he is the one kid I was certain would not have stayed in the c of c. He was wild & into a lot of secular stuff mostly girls & booze after he graduated from H.S. & left for a secular college. His mom was a cradle c of c parent but his dad wasn't a Christian. She died of cancer shortly after he left for college. Her husband remarried & was baptized into the Lord's Church, but their 2 daughters, also members of the youth group, left the c of c & religion when they left for college as did most of the youth group during their college years our son & daughter included.

Out of that large youth I am only aware of maybe three or four that are still c of c or eve still believers for that matter. My wife is still a believer but I obviously am not.

That is just a small local example of what the national data shows. Churches are getting smaller in the U.S. & that may have somthing to do with so many cradle believers leaving religion when they go off to college & away from mom & dad. But that is just a guess on my part.