Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

SolaDude wrote:I am very sorry for your situation Mamabear....and for all of those who have gone through something like this. Do you and your husband know a "third party" who would be neutral as between you and your family who could try to establish and maintain some form of communication?? It just seems apparent that communication no longer exists and perhaps some kind of go between may help.....

No - actually the congregation we left was about 30 people and dwindled down to 5 people. The only other person in the congregation outside of my family (parents, brother, husband and I) is an old man who couldn't think for himself to save his life, and essentially can be manipulated into saying / doing whatever is wanted. Our family members non christian and erring christian alike, have pretty much all but stopped all forms of communication with our family because heaven forbid we all just be kind to one another, accept that we don't all believe the same, and have kind communications. I've considered reaching out to my aunt who my dad ran out of their house, and yelled 'don't let the door hit you in the ass', but I'm afraid that she'd get back in touch with my dad and it open up a huge can of worms for me rather than help resolve anything.

Communication definitely doesn't exist between my family and I. I haven't spoken to them via phone / face to face since February. The one time I did respond was to an email my brother sent me on my 10 year wedding anniversary, stating that my living in sin caused my son's congenital birth defects and the daughter i was pregnant with, would be born dead.

After hearing that Mamabear, is there professional help available anywhere around you??....where you can talk about this cult-like situation with someone who knows a lot about these things?? It just STM that you could benefit by having someone to talk to who is a skilled professional.....really, telling you your baby will be born dead? I think you have an extremely troubling situation going on....what could be more antithetical to Christ's whole purpose in the teaching of self-sacrificial love to EVERYONE...??

Mamab ear,

Their beliefs are just their opinion. There is no Church of Christ police that can come get you and force you to go back to that church or force you to be around them. They have to grow up enough and realize that their religious beliefs are theirs and theirs alone, and if they have a problem with someone not agreeing with them ultimately they will have to be the ones to get over it.

B.H. wrote: They have to grow up enough and realize that their religious beliefs are theirs and theirs alone, and if they have a problem with someone not agreeing with them ultimately they will have to be the ones to get over it.

This type of thinking would heal many of the cofc woes they have created for themselves over the years, especially that
of destroying their own families because of differing beliefs and "my way or the highway" demands.

B.H. wrote:Mamab ear,

Their beliefs are just their opinion. There is no Church of Christ police that can come get you and force you to go back to that church or force you to be around them. They have to grow up enough and realize that their religious beliefs are theirs and theirs alone, and if they have a problem with someone not agreeing with them ultimately they will have to be the ones to get over it.

LOL at the "Church of Christmas police"!!!!

SolaDude wrote:After hearing that Mamabear, is there professional help available anywhere around you??....where you can talk about this cult-like situation with someone who knows a lot about these things?? It just STM that you could benefit by having someone to talk to who is a skilled professional.....really, telling you your baby will be born dead? I think you have an extremely troubling situation going on....what could be more antithetical to Christ's whole purpose in the teaching of self-sacrificial love to EVERYONE...??

I'm actually scheduled to begin talking to a counselor. While waiting for my appointment, I'm writing down notes and also printing off all emails sent to me, my husband's responses prior to our deciding to remain silent throughout this year, and also gathering the physical letters they've written - so she can really get a grasp on what i'm dealing with currently.

In my notes I'm writing down my thoughts regarding my childhood and being raised in the church of Christ.

Great news Mamabear....

Good news indeed. I hope positive changes come about from your efforts.

B.H. wrote:Mamab ear,

Their beliefs are just their opinion. There is no Church of Christ police that can come get you and force you to go back to that church or force you to be around them. They have to grow up enough and realize that their religious beliefs are theirs and theirs alone, and if they have a problem with someone not agreeing with them ultimately they will have to be the ones to get over it.

Oh, I love that line -- "There is no Church of Christ police"! I'm so glad that's true! Hallelujah!

So far, I see no strong reason to maintain communication with those people - and a lot of reasons not to.

I also think counseling is a GREAT idea, because sure as the world, you're probably so used to that WAY of communicating that you lean toward that also - OR to the opposite!, and that's not what you want to by copying (or reacting against).

Mamabear - it is probably not a bad idea to change your email address. Your biological (but not your companion) brother doesn't need to have it.