Ex-Church of Christ Support Board

Tsathoggua wrote: Do you know why women watch men's Olympic swimming?

I remember a joke that show a bunch of sperm swimming. There was one out front named Mark Spitz.

Never did the walk of shame. There were so many gossips in my church that would crucify who ever went forward. My sins stayed between the lord and me. Today I am where I sometimes hear the confessions of others about the sin problems they are working on. There is no gossip and no fear. But then I stay well clear of legalistic groups.

Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

Lerk wrote:Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

Interesting!!! What was their rationale for not wanting her to do the shame walk?

Lerk wrote:Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

It sounds like her sin is already known, and she had made herself culpable - even if the elders didn’t “allow” (don’t even get me started) her to do the WoS. It should count anyway.

That brings me to another question...aren’t we simply told to “confess your sins one to another?” That doesn’t say it has to be public or in an official worship service.

I hope all involved are able to find some peace.

KMC wrote: It sounds like her sin is already known, and she had made herself culpable - even if the elders didn’t “allow” (don’t even get me started) her to do the WoS. It should count anyway.

That brings me to another question...aren’t we simply told to “confess your sins one to another?” That doesn’t say it has to be public or in an official worship service.

I hope all involved are able to find some peace.

Mostly agree. The WOS would do nothing because God knows the Heart. If it is truly over it"s over. He knows about our sinful inclinations. I would never do a full confession in the Church of Christ. Why? In mine any known sin was grist for the gossip mill. Since all are sinners in one way or another. Wish them the best and leave it. I have seen marriage broken by women with perfectly fine men twice. It's a real head scratcher. I have watched a mega Christian Church blow up over an affair the preacher had. The building is still there and occupied. But the congregation piddled along for several years after and then merged with another congregation. It is now something else. He had ended the affair. And made up with wife but someone would not leave it alone and he ended up with a public confession. All because someone would not leave it alone and forgive. 5000 people had to find a new home.
Some people are so unaware of their own sin that they think everybody else is imperfect. The truth should be obvious. In my church the biggest sinner was a gossiper who thought she was perfect and everyone else was so sinful. She is now dead. Not surprising really. Maybe that church is a better place today but I won't be looking. I too hope all involved are able to find some peace.

Lerk wrote:Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

That is an outlier in my experience as well. I have NEVER heard of someone being refused to come forward.

Now I'm thinking of canon law in my own church (Orthodox Anglican Church) but I shall not comment on the case in this place.

Shane R wrote:

Lerk wrote:Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

That is an outlier in my experience as well. I have NEVER heard of someone being refused to come forward.

Now I'm thinking of canon law in my own church (Orthodox Anglican Church) but I shall not comment on the case in this place.

Maybe they were telling her it wasn't necessary. However, if she truly wanted to "go forward" as part of her healing process, why would they not want her to do it?

Ivy wrote:

Shane R wrote:

Lerk wrote:Closet atheist here, still going to a NI-CoC. Our elders recently refused to allow someone to take the walk of shame! Preacher's wife, and she cheated on him with another member of the congregation. He asked her to move out, which she did. Her side of the story is that she had repented of the relationship, she believed her husband had every right to end the marriage, and that she wanted to repent to the congregation. Not only was she not allowed to do so in person, they wouldn't even read a letter from her.

Never before heard of that happening!

That is an outlier in my experience as well. I have NEVER heard of someone being refused to come forward.

Now I'm thinking of canon law in my own church (Orthodox Anglican Church) but I shall not comment on the case in this place.

Maybe they were telling her it wasn't necessary. However, if she truly wanted to "go forward" as part of her healing process, why would they not want her to do it?

Inflated sense of ego, power, and control? Lack of boundaries?

KMC wrote:Inflated sense of ego, power, and control? Lack of boundaries?

Good points, KMC. You may have nailed it. Further shaming? Maybe wanting the drama to die down? There may well be more to the story. Dare we hope they're somewhat healthy and realize she is continuing to wear herself down with guilt, hence discouraging her from going forward?