Public shaming

[Struggler]

I remember when people would ask, often in a tone of dripping condescension, "We missed you" whenever you missed a service. In later years, that evolved into "Where were you?" I learned to say, "I was somewhere else." That usually shut them up, but for those who wouldn't, I'd ask why they needed to know.

[Ivy]

"We missed you" was sweet code for "Where WERE YOU?????"

I got to where I'd just say "Oh, thank you!!". LOL

[ena]

Unfortunately the Bible is ambiguous. There is plenty of scripture promising grace, mercy, forgiveness, and heaven as the reward for being obedient.

However, there is also plenty of scripture warning the disobedient believer of punishment, condemnation, and eternal damnation in hell.

Liberal believers tend to focus on forgiveness, grace, & Heaven. Fundamentalist seem more interested in focusing on punishment, condemnation, & Hell.

IMO, the root cause of this problem rests in how scripture is interpreted. Fundamentalist believe the Bible is literally true and historically accurate. Liberals tend to view the Bible as a collection of theological myths, allegorical stories, and legends with moral messages.

There is a lake of fire and a way of avoiding it. The CoC flunked Christianity 1A. In either case you will be judged for what you do or don't. The point of salvation or not is after judgement. It does no good to blame others. Nothing is hidden. Salvation is in your future or not. Most will not get a perfect score. All works are tried by fire. If anything is left you are given honor for it. I have known for years that Matthew was written in Hebrew. The Hebrew Matthew lists Mary's father as a different Joseph.
This was mistranslated in the Greek Version as her husband. Matthew did leave out other names. In any case you are dealing with a Hebrew culture. The wedding at Canna. Jesus turned water into wine inside of stone water pots that were only supposed to be used for water. He did not accept the rules and regulations of the Pharasees. He knew the written Torah and abided by it. Not all the external rules.

[ena]

I remember when people would ask, often in a tone of dripping condescension, "We missed you" whenever you missed a service. In later years, that evolved into "Where were you?" I learned to say, "I was somewhere else." That usually shut them up, but for those who wouldn't, I'd ask why they needed to know.

There was an older lady named Rosa. She pried a bit too much and was told, "Don't get nosy Rosie." Sometimes funny things happen.

[FreedomFromCoC]

"We missed you" was sweet code for "Where WERE YOU?????"

I got to where I'd just say "Oh, thank you!!". LOL

Right before I stopped going for good, I had only gone to one service, usually Sunday nights, for about 3 months straight. I decided to go one Sunday morning, even went to Bible Study (which I hadn't done in a very long time). After service a lady in her 50s who was nice and all but it wasn't like we were close came up and said "Oh we've missed you!" really loudly and then asked if I had been going somewhere else. I immediately got pissed because one of the things that turned me away was I didn't feel like I had any real friendships or relationships there, that they literally only cared if I showed up. So in a moment of pissed off clarity I replied "Oh you missed me? That's strange, because last time I checked this is the first time you've talked to me in almost 2 years!" Then I just gave her a pretty fake looking smile and then said "Good day!" and walked away. She had a mixed look of shock and pissed off.

That was the last service I ever went to there. I didn't go for the next 2 weeks, then the following Sunday I was going to go to the Sunday night service. I purposely would try to show up close to starting time so I didn't have to talk to anyone much. I walked up to the door and they were starting the service. But I stopped. I stood at the door for about a minute then decided "Nope, no more" and turned around. I don't know if anyone saw me or not, but I didn't care. I got back in my car and drove to a restaurant and had dinner and went home. The next day I emailed 2 elders and said I was leaving to "visit" around, which I had no intention of doing.

[SolaDude]

I immediately got pissed because one of the things that turned me away was I didn't feel like I had any real friendships or relationships there, that they literally only cared if I showed up.

Their concept of relationship is policing one another under a law-keeping obligation to attend services which equates to "being in the church" to therefore prevent the loss of their own salvation. Beyond that, there is no law-keeping they have to fulfill to love you based on seeking out and sacrificially fulfilling your needs. That would be too much of an inconvenient interruption of law-keeping.

[ena]

There is no mandate in the Bible for mandatory Church attendance. Yes, the early church did meet. Often before dawn. In Jewish time the day begins at sundown. They would have been fine with Saturday evening as it is the first day of the week. Can you learn that by reading the Bible? Probably not in the CoC. I know about the verse not forsaking the assembly. We had on preacher that harped on every Sunday. Both boring and useless.

The Church of Christ likes to create sin and guilt while hoping it will make you perfect. Not even possible. We all flail about in many ways. That was a point that Jesus constantly made. You could be a perfectly observant Pharisee. Is that any good for God? Not really because the sin of pride snags many of the observant in the CoC. I bet you could even name who. I could.

[SolaDude]

The Church of Christ likes to create sin and guilt while hoping it will make you perfect. Not even possible. We all flail about in many ways. That was a point that Jesus constantly made. You could be a perfectly observant Pharisee. Is that any good for God? Not really because the sin of pride snags many of the observant in the CoC.

The CofC fell into the same trap as the Pharisees, that is, making attitudes in life for the most part irrelevant, focusing only on behavior and behavioral appearances. Unfortunately, behavior does not always honestly reveal the true hidden attitudes residing beneath it, and especially becomes toxic when used against others for self-promotion and gain.

The sickness of man resides in the deep recesses of his or her attitudes, and the struggle of iife resides in how well one acquaints him or herself with that reality, focusing on and continually strugglng to bring its ever-present, inherent danger under as much control as possible. Jesus brought that point out so well by just living a life of directed attitude exemplified in and through His behavior. Other religious and non-religious figures in history have also lived lives of God-promotion vs self-promotion, or outward projection vs. inward obsession.

I finally concluded after many years of thinking about it that such concepts are way too deep for the shallowness of the CofC even though those concepts have always been staring them right in the face. It's quite sad to give up a church when you begin to realize that it is doubtful they would acknowledge Jesus even if he were standing right in front of them.

[ena]

The Church of Christ likes to create sin and guilt while hoping it will make you perfect. Not even possible. We all flail about in many ways. That was a point that Jesus constantly made. You could be a perfectly observant Pharisee. Is that any good for God? Not really because the sin of pride snags many of the observant in the CoC.

The CofC fell into the same trap as the Pharisees, that is, making attitudes in life for the most part irrelevant, focusing only on behavior and behavioral appearances. Unfortunately, behavior does not always honestly reveal the true hidden attitudes residing beneath it, and especially becomes toxic when used against others for self-promotion and gain.

The sickness of man resides in the deep recesses of his or her attitudes, and the struggle of iife resides in how well one acquaints him or herself with that reality, focusing on and continually strugglng to bring its ever-present, inherent danger under as much control as possible. Jesus brought that point out so well by just living a life of directed attitude exemplified in and through His behavior. Other religious and non-religious figures in history have also lived lives of God-promotion vs self-promotion, or outward projection vs. inward obsession.

I finally concluded after many years of thinking about it that such concepts are way too deep for the shallowness of the CofC even though those concepts have always been staring them right in the face. It's quite sad to give up a church when you begin to realize that it is doubtful they would acknowledge Jesus even if he were standing right in front of them.

Good post. Self promotion was a primary sin in my CoC as was gossip and lying. You cannot parse the Bible for first century methods and get all of them. There were special problems relevant to the second temple and Hebrew worship and Jewish Christians vs Greek Christians. One of the problems that God encountered was that the Apostles went all over the Roman world preaching to the lost 10 tribes. They aren't as lost as some might think. Some even know what tribe they are from. Many are filtering back to Israel. I have long realized that Matthew was written in Hebrew before the Greek translation. Every translation does violence to the text. Jesus spoke Aramaic. He may have spoken Hebrew as well. So for the words of Jesus you have multiples of translations. Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek to English with each translator introducing errors of understanding of a Hebrew culture. For this reason inerrancy is a flop. The Greek manuscript do not all say the same thing. The Hebrew Matthew has been found and has cleaned up errors. I am waiting for a corrected translation. This affects other NT books as well. Paul wrote in Greek. This is cutting edge stuff and there are multiple efforts going on.

[ena]

The CofC fell into the same trap as the Pharisees, that is, making attitudes in life for the most part irrelevant, focusing only on behavior and behavioral appearances. Unfortunately, behavior does not always honestly reveal the true hidden attitudes residing beneath it, and especially becomes toxic when used against others for self-promotion and gain.

The Pharisees added to the written Torah. They were not supposed to do that. It is found Deuteromy 4:2 KJV
2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.

The trouble Jesus had with them was all the additions to the written Torah. Jesus often beat them with them with their own man made rules. You can see it in Matthew 12.
1 At that time Jesus went on the sabbath day through the corn; and his disciples were an hungred, and began to pluck the ears of corn and to eat.

2 But when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto him, Behold, thy disciples do that which is not lawful to do upon the sabbath day.

3 But he said unto them, Have ye not read what David did, when he was an hungred, and they that were with him;

4 How he entered into the house of God, and did eat the shewbread, which was not lawful for him to eat, neither for them which were with him, but only for the priests?

Do read the rest of the chapter he hits them with their own rules. It gets quite funny. David was not supposed to enter the temple and eat the shewbread and serve it to others. The first Lord's supper was during the week. Having it on Wednesday night is closer. Besides early Christians when to Synagog on Shabatt. It morphed to Sunday. Paul attended both depending on the situation. He was sometimes thrown out of Synagogs.