Public shaming

A place to snark and vent about CoC doctrine and/or our experiences in the CoC. This is a place for SUPPORT and AGREEMENT only, not a place to tell someone their experience and feelings are wrong, or why we disagree with them.
Excocmember96
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:13 am

Re: Public shaming

Post by Excocmember96 »

My region was awful with this. One time two campus church members slept together and the girl got pregnant and they had an entire lesson on why they had sinned and addressed them both by name (while they were in the room too!) any time someone had fallen into deep sin they would tell all of us, address them by name and then the sermon that night would be about why those actions are wrong (like another time a brother had been catfishing some sisters)

I can’t imagine being one of the people that the church was calling out and feeling so shameful and guilty when we were all sinning in reality, so unfair and unfortunate they had to have their dirty laundry aired out like that for the whole group to see and gossip about afterwards.
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Ivy
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Re: Public shaming

Post by Ivy »

Hey, Excocmember96...welcome!! Good point you made...the public humiliation thing is extremely inappropriate, as well as harmful to the person / people involved.

I see it's your first post...if you're comfortable, please stop by our Introductions thread and tell us a little about yourself!! Within the limits of your anonymity, of course. :)
~Stone Cold Ivyrose Austin~
ena
Posts: 1918
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:34 pm

Re: Public shaming

Post by ena »

Excocmember96 wrote:My region was awful with this. One time two campus church members slept together and the girl got pregnant and they had an entire lesson on why they had sinned and addressed them both by name (while they were in the room too!) any time someone had fallen into deep sin they would tell all of us, address them by name and then the sermon that night would be about why those actions are wrong (like another time a brother had been catfishing some sisters)

I can’t imagine being one of the people that the church was calling out and feeling so shameful and guilty when we were all sinning in reality, so unfair and unfortunate they had to have their dirty laundry aired out like that for the whole group to see and gossip about afterwards.
Sexual sin is the worst if you get caught in the CoC. The gossip is the worst of unrecognized sin. Pregnancy is very common. I learned about birth control from a friend. Useful information. The problem is that most teens have the urge. Both male and female. Sex in the CoC is probably the most uninformed space. I dated mostly out of the CoC. The girls were not as hung up as I was. Today I am married and not shopping. My wife will probably out live me. No worrys in my house. Free from the CoC almost 50 years. It was VERY crippling. Whats the problem? You cannot tell about !st Century Christianity from the New Testament only. You can learn about Hebrews from the Old Testament. The best is to learn from Jews today with the addition of yesterday. The Jews today do not have a temple. They do not have the Temple feasts in that form. There are about three a year. They have a lunar calendar with twelve months. every month starts with new moon in Jerusalem. This is when you can a sliver of a moon. It is aligned with celestial time by adding an extra month when the barley is not ripe for harvest. That is until 70 CE. After they were removed from Israel they used Rabbinical calculations. I am aware of a movement to reinstate the old ways but need to study that more. The average month is 29 to 30 days. This means the calendar is arears 5 to 17 days a year. This means a month adjustment about every 3 to 4 years. We adjust 1 day every 4 years. Even our calendar has gone though many changes. The Jewish calendar is far older. The purpose for calendars is so you know when to plant. There are many systems world wide. You can set a calendar by watching the apex of the sun at noon. A stick in the ground will have the shadow mark change every month. The shadow is longest in the winter and shortest in the summer worldwide at noon. I fact navigation is based on that. The ships clock is very accurate. It is set to noon at Greenwich. By shooting the solar elevation off of horizon at noon in Greenwich you can see how far you are away. That gives you the longitude. The maximum height give you the latitude. I don't know what they do at night for that. The north star is the tail of the little dipper. The front bowl of the big dipper points to it. It is dim.
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Moogy
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Re: Public shaming

Post by Moogy »

Excocmember96 wrote:My region was awful with this. One time two campus church members slept together and the girl got pregnant and they had an entire lesson on why they had sinned and addressed them both by name (while they were in the room too!) any time someone had fallen into deep sin they would tell all of us, address them by name and then the sermon that night would be about why those actions are wrong (like another time a brother had been catfishing some sisters)

I can’t imagine being one of the people that the church was calling out and feeling so shameful and guilty when we were all sinning in reality, so unfair and unfortunate they had to have their dirty laundry aired out like that for the whole group to see and gossip about afterwards.
Anyone who isn’t brainwashed can see that this shaming is not an effective way to lead people into better behavior. This is a good way to run off members. I am glad you got away.
Moogy
NI COC for over 30 years, but out for over 40 years now
Mostly Methodist for about 30 years.
Left the UMC in 2019 based on their decision to condemn LGBT+ persons and to discipline Pastors who perform same-sex marriages
Excocmember96
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:13 am

Re: Public shaming

Post by Excocmember96 »

Moogy wrote:
Excocmember96 wrote:My region was awful with this. One time two campus church members slept together and the girl got pregnant and they had an entire lesson on why they had sinned and addressed them both by name (while they were in the room too!) any time someone had fallen into deep sin they would tell all of us, address them by name and then the sermon that night would be about why those actions are wrong (like another time a brother had been catfishing some sisters)

I can’t imagine being one of the people that the church was calling out and feeling so shameful and guilty when we were all sinning in reality, so unfair and unfortunate they had to have their dirty laundry aired out like that for the whole group to see and gossip about afterwards.
Anyone who isn’t brainwashed can see that this shaming is not an effective way to lead people into better behavior. This is a good way to run off members. I am glad you got away.

Yeah it feels surreal.. like you said today I’d be like “okay what is going on, this isn’t right!” but because I grew up in the church I just assumed this was the right thing to do. I always figured “well this is what God wants right?! To correct and discipline his children” I figured it was for the benefit of all but this is no where near what God wanted
ena
Posts: 1918
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 12:34 pm

Re: Public shaming

Post by ena »

Excocmember96 wrote:
Moogy wrote:
Excocmember96 wrote:My region was awful with this. One time two campus church members slept together and the girl got pregnant and they had an entire lesson on why they had sinned and addressed them both by name (while they were in the room too!) any time someone had fallen into deep sin they would tell all of us, address them by name and then the sermon that night would be about why those actions are wrong (like another time a brother had been catfishing some sisters)

I can’t imagine being one of the people that the church was calling out and feeling so shameful and guilty when we were all sinning in reality, so unfair and unfortunate they had to have their dirty laundry aired out like that for the whole group to see and gossip about afterwards.
Anyone who isn’t brainwashed can see that this shaming is not an effective way to lead people into better behavior. This is a good way to run off members. I am glad you got away.

Yeah it feels surreal.. like you said today I’d be like “okay what is going on, this isn’t right!” but because I grew up in the church I just assumed this was the right thing to do. I always figured “well this is what God wants right?! To correct and discipline his children” I figured it was for the benefit of all but this is no where near what God wanted
God does things that are beneficial. Is airing someones dirty laundry beneficial? In the case of Donald Trump it would be because it would have the purpose of waking up his supporters. But generally it is not. I watched a mega Church blow up because te pastor had an affair. He had set his house in order and was on the road to recovery. The legalists that were incapable to leave it alone hurt thousands because they thought his sin was special. Actually it is quite common. He was on the go thy way and sin no more pathway but some legalist could not let it drop. They did more damage than the pastor did. The church was a distant relative of the CoC. I had attended there previously. The plant is still there with a giant auditorium. It shrunk so much that it merged with another group that was compatible. It is a far cry from the success it was. The problem with over sized groups is finding the place you fit. I don't go to church because nearly all have errored pathways. The gospel were written in Hebrew. The Greek translations were poor. There is no one to one coorespondance of words from on language to another. Greeks might know Hebrew as a language but do not necessarily know the culture and idioms. There are actually Hebrew pun that do not come through to Greek or English.

Matthew 1:21.
21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins.

In Hebrew it is Yeshua for Yasha. or Jesus who saves.

https://biblehub.com/hebrew/3467.htm

Strong's is Greek oriented for the New Testament. So you will see Yasha for the old. This is cutting edge stuff. The Hebrew Gospels were known by Jerome who used them. Some have been found in the Vatican Library. Others are in Spain and India. Both had Jewish Christian communities. The one in Spain was wiped out by the Catholic Church during the Spanish Inquisition. Thomas died in India preaching to Jews there. The lost ten tribes are not lost to God. They are being called to Israel. The apostles went all over the Roman world to seek out bands of Israelites. Some actually know what tribe they are from. Already they are correcting errors found in the errant Greek gospels. Mary's father was a Joseph. It is not her husband that the Greek Matthew takes about in the geneology of chapter one. It remains to be seen what will fall as a mistranslation. As the religious community is much vested in the Greek. Some will not be open to the changes. I will in the meantime find it very interesting. I am waiting for the full translation. There are changes to the Lord's prayer and the woman caught in Adultry was not originally in John seven in the Greek gospels. Many things were added later from the Hebrew gospels. Sorry Bart Ehrmann you are a Greek expert.
OneStrike_ur_out
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Re: Public shaming

Post by OneStrike_ur_out »

I got one :lol: One time, someone asked me after services on Sunday morning "say...umm...question for ya.....did I see you over in such and such part of town late Friday night?" I had been to a gentleman's club on the Friday night in question, but I wasn't going to fess up to anything. So I answered with a question of my own. I said "now...where was this, exactly?" and they responded with the name of the avenue. And I said "can you be a little more specific?" and they said "pulling out of a parking lot and onto the road. You hung a right, then got into the left hand turn lane at the traffic light". I said "Friday night...I was binge watching a show on Netflix". I answered around it :lol: And they replied "oh...ok....the guy looked a lot like you, but, then again, we all have lookalikes". The thing that got me was, at best, it is VERY hard to see into a car at night, and be able to tell who is in the car. So, I couldn't help but wonder how this person saw me, in my car, at night, from pretty far away, and was able to discern that there was someone driving that either was me or looked a lot like me, while the car is in motion, and while going in the opposite direction on the other side of a very busy highway. And, the person wears glasses. That just doesn't seem plausible. Not to mention, that part of town is nowhere near where this person lived. It still baffles me to this day. I didn't want the whole shaming shit that would have come along with that. So, I "stepped around" the question, aka told a lie of omission. :lol: Had they sent it up the chain, so to speak, it would have been their word against mine. Fortunately, that was the end of it. This wasn't a nosey person or anything. He was a nice guy. In fact him asking something like that was out of character for him. I have wondered too if perhaps he had indulged in the same thing I had on the night in question, but, if he did, why say anything to out himself? The whole thing was just...strange.
"HE HAS GOTTEN PULLED AWAY!!"-The cOC's go-to answer whenever someone leaves.
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Ivy
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Re: Public shaming

Post by Ivy »

I have wondered too if perhaps he had indulged in the same thing I had on the night in question, but, if he did, why say anything to out himself?
That was my first thought. What was Brother Nosy Ned doing over there himself? Perhaps he was also partaking. :lol: :lol: :lol:
~Stone Cold Ivyrose Austin~
faithandmore
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Re: Public shaming

Post by faithandmore »

OneStrike_ur_out wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2021 2:24 pm I got one :lol: One time, someone asked me after services on Sunday morning "say...umm...question for ya.....did I see you over in such and such part of town late Friday night?" I had been to a gentleman's club on the Friday night in question, but I wasn't going to fess up to anything. So I answered with a question of my own. I said "now...where was this, exactly?" and they responded with the name of the avenue. And I said "can you be a little more specific?" and they said "pulling out of a parking lot and onto the road. You hung a right, then got into the left hand turn lane at the traffic light". I said "Friday night...I was binge watching a show on Netflix". I answered around it :lol: And they replied "oh...ok....the guy looked a lot like you, but, then again, we all have lookalikes". The thing that got me was, at best, it is VERY hard to see into a car at night, and be able to tell who is in the car. So, I couldn't help but wonder how this person saw me, in my car, at night, from pretty far away, and was able to discern that there was someone driving that either was me or looked a lot like me, while the car is in motion, and while going in the opposite direction on the other side of a very busy highway. And, the person wears glasses. That just doesn't seem plausible. Not to mention, that part of town is nowhere near where this person lived. It still baffles me to this day. I didn't want the whole shaming shit that would have come along with that. So, I "stepped around" the question, aka told a lie of omission. :lol: Had they sent it up the chain, so to speak, it would have been their word against mine. Fortunately, that was the end of it. This wasn't a nosey person or anything. He was a nice guy. In fact him asking something like that was out of character for him. I have wondered too if perhaps he had indulged in the same thing I had on the night in question, but, if he did, why say anything to out himself? The whole thing was just...strange.
He was at the same gentleman's club, too. That's why he saw you. he just didn't want to admit it.
zeek
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Re: Public shaming

Post by zeek »

faithandmore wrote: Sat Mar 13, 2021 10:51 pm
OneStrike_ur_out wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2021 2:24 pm I got one :lol: One time, someone asked me after services on Sunday morning "say...umm...question for ya.....did I see you over in such and such part of town late Friday night?" I had been to a gentleman's club on the Friday night in question, but I wasn't going to fess up to anything. So I answered with a question of my own. I said "now...where was this, exactly?" and they responded with the name of the avenue. And I said "can you be a little more specific?" and they said "pulling out of a parking lot and onto the road. You hung a right, then got into the left hand turn lane at the traffic light". I said "Friday night...I was binge watching a show on Netflix". I answered around it :lol: And they replied "oh...ok....the guy looked a lot like you, but, then again, we all have lookalikes". The thing that got me was, at best, it is VERY hard to see into a car at night, and be able to tell who is in the car. So, I couldn't help but wonder how this person saw me, in my car, at night, from pretty far away, and was able to discern that there was someone driving that either was me or looked a lot like me, while the car is in motion, and while going in the opposite direction on the other side of a very busy highway. And, the person wears glasses. That just doesn't seem plausible. Not to mention, that part of town is nowhere near where this person lived. It still baffles me to this day. I didn't want the whole shaming shit that would have come along with that. So, I "stepped around" the question, aka told a lie of omission. :lol: Had they sent it up the chain, so to speak, it would have been their word against mine. Fortunately, that was the end of it. This wasn't a nosey person or anything. He was a nice guy. In fact him asking something like that was out of character for him. I have wondered too if perhaps he had indulged in the same thing I had on the night in question, but, if he did, why say anything to out himself? The whole thing was just...strange.
He was at the same gentleman's club, too. That's why he saw you. he just didn't want to admit it.
I heard from a very reliable source that two brothers from a local church found each other in the back room of a video rental store in a neighboring town. They agreed that what happened in Lebanon stayed in Lebanon. At least one of them couldn't keep his mouth shut; a guilty conscience got the better of him and he just had to "confess" his fault to someone. Even now, it warms my heart to think that of everyone he knew in the church he felt I would be the most trustworthy person to share such a secret with. Other than posting on this site, I have never spoken of it to anyone even him. He is dead now; I don't know about the other fellow as he didn't divulge the name. Moses warned the children of Israel "Be sure your sins will find you out." You can find that quote somewhere between Exodus 1:1 and Deuteronomy 34:12.
"All things are difficult before they are easy."(found in a fortune cookie)
"We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the oppressed. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Forgetting isn't healing." Elie Wiesel
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