Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

A place to snark and vent about CoC doctrine and/or our experiences in the CoC. This is a place for SUPPORT and AGREEMENT only, not a place to tell someone their experience and feelings are wrong, or why we disagree with them.
faithandmore
Posts: 1207
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 10:56 pm

Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by faithandmore »

I don't know if anyone has noticed this or not, but someone mentioned that it's prevalent at Water Mark church (cult-like mega church in the Dallas area), to pressure young, single adults to have same gender roommates who are also Christian. There seems to be some disapproval of adults who live alone, which is something I noticed . And almost every single woman in the singles group at my previous churches had female roommates. As an adult, I never felt like I needed a roommate and to be honest it does NOT save very much money. I felt like I outgrew the need for roommates after college and i've always been very independent. I didn't like having someone wonder why I was out late at night, or how I tie my shoelaces or whether I shower in the morning or at night. I can't imagine getting into that type of living arrangement as an independent adult. (And no, I don't think it's just like marriage either. Marriage is different.)
B.H.
Posts: 4408
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:26 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by B.H. »

Other than when I lived with my parents when younger I've always lived alone. I wouldnt want a room mate. My place is supposed to be my place.
The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.----Karl Marx
User avatar
Ivy
Posts: 6385
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 11:05 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by Ivy »

faithandmore wrote:I don't know if anyone has noticed this or not, but someone mentioned that it's prevalent at Water Mark church (cult-like mega church in the Dallas area), to pressure young, single adults to have same gender roommates who are also Christian. There seems to be some disapproval of adults who live alone, which is something I noticed.
Oh, really? Why should the church even have an opinion on that (Red Flag: CULT ALERT)? From personal experience, I'd say that is not a good idea. Been there, done that...albeit 40 plus years ago. Instead of moving in with a cofc person I moved in with, I should have stayed in my tiny little place where I could mind my own beeswax and every one else could mind theirs.
~Stone Cold Ivyrose Austin~
faithandmore
Posts: 1207
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 10:56 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by faithandmore »

Ivy wrote:
faithandmore wrote:I don't know if anyone has noticed this or not, but someone mentioned that it's prevalent at Water Mark church (cult-like mega church in the Dallas area), to pressure young, single adults to have same gender roommates who are also Christian. There seems to be some disapproval of adults who live alone, which is something I noticed.
Oh, really? Why should the church even have an opinion on that (Red Flag: CULT ALERT)? From personal experience, I'd say that is not a good idea. Been there, done that...albeit 40 plus years ago. Instead of moving in with a cofc person I moved in with, I should have stayed in my tiny little place where I could mind my own beeswax and every one else could mind theirs.
I will try to locate the website where this person wrote about the cult-like religion at Watermark and how she was expected to have a roommate. For me, as an adult when I was in my 30s already, it would feel weird having a roommate. I felt that I had matured past the need for that.

But I also talked to a C of C preacher one time, who told me I should have a roommate, and if I didn't then I had no business complaining about my finances. So I did the math on renting a 2 bedroom apartment versus the one-bedroom that I currently had, and splitting rent would have only saved me, at most, $75 a month. There's also the issue of roommates who might not pay their bills on time.
FinallyFree
Posts: 2370
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2015 3:29 pm
Location: Southaven, MS

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by FinallyFree »

My grandmother had this belief that single females should live with their parents until they are married, and if they moved out and got their own place, they were some kind of wild and immoral woman. My grandmother was extreme—she thought it was sinful for women to wear pants. She thought it was wild to wear eye makeup.
User avatar
agricola
Posts: 4779
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 10:31 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by agricola »

They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's OK, you wake up with yourself

My Life _ Billy Joel
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
B.H.
Posts: 4408
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:26 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by B.H. »

FinallyFree wrote:My grandmother had this belief that single females should live with their parents until they are married, and if they moved out and got their own place, they were some kind of wild and immoral woman. My grandmother was extreme—she thought it was sinful for women to wear pants. She thought it was wild to wear eye makeup.
Here is the thing I couldnt understand about women not wearing pants or jeans.

What I am fixing to say is Bh being Bh so you are warned.

It seemed to me women showed their curves and shape more by wearing the blouse and dress bottoms than they did wearing pants or Jean's. And pants and jeans are made to have baggier or looser fits in places too.

Not trying to be disrespectful but the one cuppers were really in to women wearing blouses or dress bottoms. If they were trying to avoid the attractive nature of their bodies they failed.
The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.----Karl Marx
FinallyFree
Posts: 2370
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2015 3:29 pm
Location: Southaven, MS

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by FinallyFree »

I remember my grandmother said that when women wore pants it looked like two cats in a bag fighting. So, BH. you are saying women in blouses and skirts look more seductive?
B.H.
Posts: 4408
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:26 pm

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by B.H. »

FinallyFree wrote:I remember my grandmother said that when women wore pants it looked like two cats in a bag fighting. So, BH. you are saying women in blouses and skirts look more seductive?
Yes, men cant help notice their shapes and be aroused to some degree. That isnt the womans fault but the man's. The man could quit gawking. I am just pointing that all of this is to stop men from wanting to stare when really it seems to attract more stares.

I feel bad for women. Nature shapes their bodies to arouse men, but a lot of times the woman cognitively speaking does not want the attention. I dont see how you all handle it. I know if I were female I wouldnt appreciate men staring at my butt or cleavage so I try to be respectful and not do so.

I really like women. I enjoy their company and friendships. And even though conventional wisdom says women are more emotional I am not always sure this is true. If you listen what women say and why they think something should be a certain way they have a logic and set of steps developing their arguments. Men just do not always listen.
The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it.----Karl Marx
FinallyFree
Posts: 2370
Joined: Sat Aug 01, 2015 3:29 pm
Location: Southaven, MS

Re: Adults can't live alone & must have roommates

Post by FinallyFree »

I remember Cootie saying yoga pants show off a woman’s body and are distracting. Leggings are the same way. So many women with horrible bodies wear them and it just looks bad.
Post Reply