Completely shunned by lifelong friends

[JadedExCoC]

I spent 28 years in the CoC. Had, what I assumed, were incredibly close friends for nearly 20 years. But nope. The cult indoctrination is so pervasive that I have only heard from one friend who I was only semi close with for a couple of years. He wasn't even checking in really. Just wanted to meet so we could read the Bible.

I had been attending at the congregation I left since I was 13. Got baptized there. I left when I was 28. 2 of the 5 elders, the preacher, and 1 family were the only other people in the entire congregation of 300ish members who reached out to me and my wife.

When my wife and I got married the outpouring of love and support was amazing. We had so much help from many people we were close to. Completely shunned by those people now.

I reached out to a couple friends. Texting and shared a funny video like we used to. Got zero response.

It saddens me but I'm honestly more sad for them. Stuck brainwashed in the CoC cult. They only care about members, visitors, and potential members they don't really have to go out of their way to recruit. Totally what Jesus had in mind.

Also, side note for the mods, you should definitely consider converting this site to HTTPS for security reasons.

[Ivy]

Jaded, I'm really sorry you're going through the "shunning" by people you cared for and trusted for many years. Yes, when you leave the cofc, you do find out who is a true friend vs who was only your "friend" due to the common belief system. Very saddening. Many of us here have experienced it. It is very painful, but you do eventually heal and grow beyond it. It may help to realize that it's just confirmation that you indeed did the right thing by leaving.

[JadedExCoC]

Yep it's definitely worked as one of the many confirmations that we made a good choice in leaving. Their reactions (or lack thereof) are a bummer but we don't regret leaving in the slightest.

[Ivy]

Nobody needs fake "friendships" based on having to have the exact same beliefs. That is neither love nor friendship. You will meet people who are genuinely loving, and who will be very happy to be in your life as your friend.

[Moogy]

My husband and I lost a group of close friends when we left the COC. There were a very few who exercised their own judgment and continued to see us. Disfellowshipping is their doctrine, and a sign of their cult-like community.

[ena]

Nobody needs fake "friendships" based on having to have the exact same beliefs. That is neither love nor friendship. You will meet people who are genuinely loving, and who will be very happy to be in your life as your friend.

I agree with your post. I wanted to press the point that nobody has exactly the same ideas in detail if you look for differences. I knew people that would drink some wine, I knew teenagers that danced, I knew people who would play cards. All were members of the CoC. I do not desire to live a double life. I can pull it off but why? I do not consider any of these things of import so in the way I am a liberal. In other ways I am conservative. It depends on the way I interpret the Bible. God was not a murderous maniac when the children of Israel entered the holy land. The Children of Israel were somewhat pagan. The people around them were pagans. God was stomping out a cross infection as in were. The Jews basic were killed or removed from Israel in 70 AD. They we hunted and killed repeatedly by so called Christians for centuries. The Spanish Inquisition took out both Jews and Jewish Christians. Some of the Hebrew Gospels were found in Spain in the Jewish archives by a Jew interested in ancient manuscripts. He is American and has been reading and speaking Hebrew. His name is Nehemia Gordon. He will talk to Christians with the provision: You don't try to convert me and I won"t try to convert you. It is a rather easy way. He is fun to listen too. He can tell you about a bunch and has his own thinking about Jesus. He is a scholar in his own right. I have heard him read Hebrew and translate it to English. I count him as a blessing because of what he knows. He is friends with Christian Scholars. They discuss the Hebrew Jesus. Jesus read Hebrew. I don't know if he wrote.